*Disclaimer: Again this post was written in part with the support of Chatgpt. I needed the additional support. No one feels more disappointment about it than me. Also I had forgotten I had previously written about my assessment day.
The day finally came. My five month wait was finally over. As I sat in front of the computer screen in the “waiting room” of the psychiatrists Telehealth appointment. I started to seriously doubt myself, doubt the information that I had provided and really started to feel terribly about the funds it would take to pay for the appointment.
But I held fast to my believe in myself, the information I provided...all of this information couldn’t be wrong. I wasn’t wrong, I knew this deep down in my guts and I knew we could afford it, it wasn’t going to send us broke.
The doctor arrived, shortly after my wait in which I had settled down and we began to have the conversation about my DIVA-II, my matrix based on my traits and the DSM-5, some history, and my genetic relationships tied to ADHD and Autism.
The hour went so quickly. I so much wanted to understand myself better and to understand that the ways I did things weren’t necessarily because I was a bad human being (an arsehole - let’s be real) but because I struggled to cope with the anxiety in my head, the overwhelm by the simple things and the overall feeling of physical pain when I “couldn’t get it right”
To my Ego’s surprise the doctor said, “I do believe you have ADHD, but I need to go over some more assessments to determine which type.” When queried with the idea of getting assessed for Autism he replied to me, “60-80% of people with ADHD are also diagnosised with Autistic traits. Considering you have family history with a close family member being diagnosed it’s a likelihood that you also have similar Autistic traits.” When I queried him on Rejection Sensitivity Disphoria he confirmed there was no way to diagnosis it but that questionnaire results that I had a strong tendency to have challenges in that area too.
I felt genuine happiness at finally finding answers for myself. The journey to this diagnosis was long, filled with confusion and frustration, and tears - so many tears but it ultimately led to a better understanding of myself and a newfound, happier connection with my mother, who shared similar traits.
In this blog post, I want to share my experiences and provide resources for those seeking support in Australia.
Discovering Answers: Receiving an ADHD diagnosis was a revelation for me. It explained the challenges I had faced throughout my life, such as difficulty focusing, impulsivity, and a sense of restlessness. Understanding that these traits were not personal failures but part of a neurodevelopmental condition brought immense relief. If you suspect you may have ADHD, it's important to seek professional help for an accurate diagnosis. Consider contacting the Australian ADHD Foundation for contact details of those professionals
Grief and Acceptance: Alongside the happiness of finding answers, a wave of grief washed over me. I couldn't help but wonder how different my life might have been if I had received this diagnosis earlier. How I might have been able to mother better to my own children and made life a little or a lot easier. However, it's crucial to acknowledge that ADHD is often overlooked or misdiagnosed, especially in girls and women. There is so little research on Women’s health and ADHD but it’s coming. By accepting my diagnosis, I working toward letting go of the self-blame and focus on moving forward.
Understanding the Connection: As I delved deeper into ADHD, I discovered that it often coexists with other conditions, such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Many people with ADHD also exhibit autistic traits, and it's important to consider the possibility of dual diagnoses. Exploring this intersection can provide a clearer picture of an individual's neurodiversity and help tailor strategies for support. In my case, I’m accepting that I have the connection without seeking additional and expensive tests.
Connecting with My Mother: Interestingly, my ADHD diagnosis brought my mother and me closer than ever before. As I read through her journals, listened to our recorded conversations, re-read her letters and through about our time together throughout our lives, it became evident that she too displayed ADHD traits. My newfound understanding deepened our bond and allowed for greater empathy and support within our relationship. Even though she’s been gone 6 years now, I have deep gratitude to finally understand her better and find a warm and loving place in our relationship. Sometimes, finding answers for ourselves can unlock hidden connections within our families.
Seeking Support in Australia: If you're in Australia and seeking support for ADHD, here are some valuable resources: a. ADHD Australia: Visit their website for comprehensive information, support groups, and resources for individuals with ADHD, their families, and professionals. [Link: www.adhdaustralia.org.au] b. ADHD Support Australia: A community-driven platform that offers online support groups, webinars, and a wealth of information about ADHD management. [Link: www.adhdsupportaustralia.com.au] c. Autism Awareness Australia: While focused primarily on autism, this organization offers resources that may be beneficial for individuals with dual diagnoses of ADHD and ASD. [Link: www.autismawareness.com.au] d. ADDults with ADHD is a charity dedicated to improving the lives of adults dealing with ADHD in themselves, their family, their friends and their clients. [Link: www.adultadhd.org.au/index.php/services-and-products]
Receiving an ADHD diagnosis was a turning point in my life. Despite the grief that accompanied it, the genuine happiness I felt at finding answers for myself outweighed everything else. It led me to a better understanding of who I am, allowed for a stronger connection with my mother, and opened doors to tailored support and strategies. If you suspect you may have ADHD, remember that you are not alone, and seeking professional help and support is the first step towards a happier and more fulfilling life.
With love,
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