I wrote this on the evening of a recent day when a major city hospital informed me that my 32-year-old son had been involuntarily admitted to hospital under the Mental Health Act.
It Hurts Real Bad.
Do you remember when you were a little kid, and your Mum would say to you in that sing-song voice: "Don't pick at it or it'll bleed. Don't knock the scab off or it won't heal right."
Sometimes life has a way of doing that for you. Sometimes, in life, we get a scab on our heart, and it hurts so bad. The wound runs so deeply.
Your baby is sick in the hospital, your little boy's first skinned knee, your teenager's first broken heart or bullying experience at school. Your young adult lost his job or his best mate unalived himself.
It hurts. It hurts real bad.
The more life goes on, the more we must come to terms with being an adult with adult kids. We think (or I do anyway) about all the times we told them that we'd do everything we can to help them, be there for them, fix things for them. The reality is we can’t always be there, help them and fix it, can we?
Of course, our parents worried about us, but deep down, we must have always felt we would be okay. Resilient.
But then, sometimes life knocks the scabs off again. A reminder to us of how much loving them make us feel things. We are too old to do anything by this time, they are too adult as well. There’s really nothing more than kind words, time, and waiting that can be done to heal this re-opened wound.
We request both our higher power and theirs to look after them and ensure their safety. Three weeks, three months, or 32 years, you still hold them close in your heart and leave the light on for them. You are, though, reminded to the depths of your being just how much you love them and want all the good things for them.
Sometimes, our loved ones don't know how sick they are, or in other times, for other folks, they are not as sick as we might have thought they are; they simply just want to be left alone. They are wanting to live a life different from what we perceive as normal. A life that seems so lonely, distant, and hard. The scab of perspective gets knocked off too. It's time to see it differently.
And with that, we wipe away our tears, put a bandage on to soothe our "Knocked Off Scab” heart, reassure ourselves for the 5,400th time that things will be alright.
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