I’ve considered that social media is having an adverse effect on my brain. (No surprises there really.) It’s been 12 years of near-daily (give or take a week where I was semi-off the grid for a spiritual healing retreat...no, wait... no, I used it then too, never mind)...as I was saying, near-daily use of social media and I’ve used a computer almost every day of my life for the last 35 years.
I’ve also noticed that my brain feels as though it’s been dumbed-down. Reduced to nearly jelly by social media, YT videos I have been watching and TT. All in the name of dopamine hits maybe. This morning I picked up a book by Robert Frost, “The Poems of Robert Frost”
I realised there were words in the beginning pages of his book that, for me, had long been forgotten or even unheard of: “Contemptible, Grex, Protestations, or even Agley”. Books he mentioned that I have never read and maybe I should: "The Iliad, Odyssey and Aeneid.” and conjunctions like: “sha’n’t” in his first poem in this book The Pasture. These feel all lost to me until this time.
I’ll be honest, I am still struggled greatly with putting social media down and focusing on the now. I’ve threatened to defenestrate my phone, iPad, this computer, the television. While writing this post, my phone buzzes at me, a Snapchat reminder “HEY! REMEMBER THIS?” it says. A memory I’d just as soon like to forget It's from May 2022, just after my step-father had thrown us off of the family farm for his “suspicious” thoughts about me and my intentions. His step-child of 30+ years. No thank you Snapchat, you’re only a reminder I forgot to block. That means I need to go on my phone again, doesn’t it?
Instead of tossing it, I’m considering a dumbed-down phone. The expense though is an issue. So, in googling “dumbed down phones” I found this.
I’m going to try it for the next 7 days and see what life looks like then. I’ll be setting up Self Control on this computer as well giving me 1 hour a day for social media. It might sound restrictive, but I feel this is what I need to gain some of my grey matter back. Maybe they will help you too.
The truth is if I shut my phone off, defenestrated it, or otherwise I would have few messages at our reunion. I try to celebrate the idea that I raised my children to be independent and self-sufficient and also nothing that nothing is amiss. They don’t need me. It’s also a feeling of being forgotten and feeling lonely, but that’s a story for another day.
So it’s me, my dumbed down phone, a book and a notepad and pencil. I’m interested to see how this goes.
Wish me luck!
Love,
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